I say I say I say

Greetings

Today I'd like to talk about language or more specifically sayings, proverbs, Idioms, etc. etc.

You know things like, "He who laughs last laughs longest", eh what? beg pardon, what the f**k is that supposed to mean. How about "If the wind changes you'll stick like that" who the hell came up with that, someone who lived next door to an exploding glue factory?

There's a million of these things out there, where do they come from who makes them up, some are self explanatory but others make you wonder, things like "a chain is only as strong as its weakest link" self explanatory, but "a friend in need is a friend indeed" what's that supposed to mean? personally I prefer the adage a friend in need is a pain in the arse, but hey who am I to criticise.

There are dozens of them for every letter of the alphabet, some are really old like "a pig in a poke" or "letting the cat out of the bag" some are much more recent like "all singing all dancing", we all use them to some extent, some people more than others, myself in particular I use them all the time I'm full of them, (some say I'm just full of shit) yet how often do we think about them, I mean for instance what has "kicked the bucket" got to do with dying, how many dying people do you see going around kicking buckets.

What about "meat and two veg" to describe a blokes wedding tackle, how did that one come about, I mean you can't really describe it as meat can you, a grisly sausage maybe or a turkey neck, and where does the two veg come in? aren't vegetables either crunchy (raw) or soft and tender (cooked), I would have thought testicles would be sort of rubbery at best, and while we're on the subject what of the term wedding tackle, I mean isn't tackle meant to be kept in a box? Oh wait now I get it.

Also staying on the same theme why do we use the term knackers to denote a pair of testicles, is it because if you kick someone in them it knackers them for life, and how about knockers to denote a woman's breasts, I mean you don't see women going around knocking on doors with them do you, they don't knock together when they run, bounce up and down yes so maybe we should call them bouncers.

Of course those last two where slang terms rather than sayings but still the same questions apply, where and from whom did they originate, why did they come into common usage doubtless some smart arse will know, not that it matters some are good, some are crap, some are funny, some are wise and some make no sense at all, different ones come into and go out of fashion at different times and others seem to remain constant.

To finish I'd just like to give you my thoughts on one last one "Honesty is the best policy" whoever coined this phrase was either an idiot or a liar, and boys if you don't believe me or you're wondering why I say that, the next time your wife or girlfriend asks you does my bum look big in this try telling the truth and see where it gets you, probably the nearest A&E department.

Don't say I didn't warn you. Ta Ta.