Greetings all.
Today I'd like to talk about, (alright to WRITE about, don't be so bloody pedantic) how we perceive others, and more importantly perhaps how they perceive us or indeed how we perceive ourselves, which when you add it all up is an awful lot of perceptions, hence the title.
For example as a parent/grandparent, I perceive teenagers as obnoxious undisciplined ungrateful little shits, although little is probably the wrong description as an awful lot of them are taller than me these days, (are they getting taller or am I shrinking? maybe it's a bit of both.) anyway this is a view in which I suspect I am not alone, but on the flip side, that is to say from the teenagers point of view, they probably perceive me and most other parents/grandparents as overbearing over-controlling boring old farts who don't know what it's like to be young.
Of course it's easy to perceive groups as being one way or another, because when considering a group we are generalising, but what about on a more personal individual level? After all not all teenagers are as I have described, (just most of them), indeed I myself was a paragon of virtue when I was a teenager, just as I am now, then again maybe that's just how I perceive myself to be?
No sad to say I see myself as just your complete Mr average, average height, average weight, average size willy, (unfortunately), on the other hand my wife did used to see me as a sex god, but then again she always was easy pleased, the two oldest grand-kids used to perceive me as SUPER-GRANDDAD who leaps tall buildings with a single fart, (hey who am I to argue), now though they just see me as a private taxi service. My big brother perceives me as a weirdo, and that's OK because I perceive him as an arsehole, the eldest lad sees me as an anti-social people hater which is probably pretty accurate if truth be told, others in the family generally see me as Mr fix-it, and other people see me as umpteen different things, unfortunately non of them complimentary.
So as you can see from the above I am different things to different people, what about you? How do you perceive yourself as an individual? How do you think others perceive you? that will probably depend on what sort of impression you make initially, because the vast majority of us go off first impressions, hence the expression first impression counts, it shouldn't but unfortunately it does, especially when it comes to things like job interviews, how many times has a well dressed well manicured well spoken arsehole, who knows nothing about a given subject been awarded a job over someone infinitely more qualified but less well kept? sadly all to often I fear.
I learned long ago that first impressions can be very misleading, it was way back when I was young and green, and I joined my first motorcycle club, I'd gone along early to the pub where they held their meetings, so consequently I was the first to arrive, I went in got myself a drink and sat down to wait, it wasn't long before the first of the members turned up and what a first, I thought to myself shit! what am I getting into here, this fella looked like the epitome of a hollywood hells angel, long hair, tattoos, ear-ring, ripped oil stained jeans, cut-off jacket full of bike patches and badge's, and a studded leather belt with a fox tail hanging off it, I thought he's got to be riding a Harley, how wrong could I be? the man rode a 250 honda custom, and he was one of the nicest fella's you could ever wish to meet, wouldn't say boo to a goose, and he'd do anything he could to help you out, it just goes to show.
On the flip side a few years later in a different motorcycle group, there was another bloke who was somewhat cleaner better attired etc, in fact a typical upstanding bmw riding gent, who from appearances you would think was a thoroughly nice fellow, turned out he was a back-stabbing weaselly f*****g turd, go figure! like I said first impressions can be very misleading.
So maybe we should learn to ignore first impressions, and instead give people a chance to prove what they're like by talking to, and attempting to get to know them before we judge. Sadly that's easier said than done, mostly because we all tend to judge the book by the cover, which applies not just to how people look but also to how they talk act and otherwise express themselves, it is universal and applies to all echelons of society, it's like the old saying, if your face fits, you're in.
Sadly mine never has.
Sunday 15 October 2017
Saturday 23 September 2017
I say I say I say
Greetings
Today I'd like to talk about language or more specifically sayings, proverbs, Idioms, etc. etc.
You know things like, "He who laughs last laughs longest", eh what? beg pardon, what the f**k is that supposed to mean. How about "If the wind changes you'll stick like that" who the hell came up with that, someone who lived next door to an exploding glue factory?
There's a million of these things out there, where do they come from who makes them up, some are self explanatory but others make you wonder, things like "a chain is only as strong as its weakest link" self explanatory, but "a friend in need is a friend indeed" what's that supposed to mean? personally I prefer the adage a friend in need is a pain in the arse, but hey who am I to criticise.
There are dozens of them for every letter of the alphabet, some are really old like "a pig in a poke" or "letting the cat out of the bag" some are much more recent like "all singing all dancing", we all use them to some extent, some people more than others, myself in particular I use them all the time I'm full of them, (some say I'm just full of shit) yet how often do we think about them, I mean for instance what has "kicked the bucket" got to do with dying, how many dying people do you see going around kicking buckets.
What about "meat and two veg" to describe a blokes wedding tackle, how did that one come about, I mean you can't really describe it as meat can you, a grisly sausage maybe or a turkey neck, and where does the two veg come in? aren't vegetables either crunchy (raw) or soft and tender (cooked), I would have thought testicles would be sort of rubbery at best, and while we're on the subject what of the term wedding tackle, I mean isn't tackle meant to be kept in a box? Oh wait now I get it.
Also staying on the same theme why do we use the term knackers to denote a pair of testicles, is it because if you kick someone in them it knackers them for life, and how about knockers to denote a woman's breasts, I mean you don't see women going around knocking on doors with them do you, they don't knock together when they run, bounce up and down yes so maybe we should call them bouncers.
Of course those last two where slang terms rather than sayings but still the same questions apply, where and from whom did they originate, why did they come into common usage doubtless some smart arse will know, not that it matters some are good, some are crap, some are funny, some are wise and some make no sense at all, different ones come into and go out of fashion at different times and others seem to remain constant.
To finish I'd just like to give you my thoughts on one last one "Honesty is the best policy" whoever coined this phrase was either an idiot or a liar, and boys if you don't believe me or you're wondering why I say that, the next time your wife or girlfriend asks you does my bum look big in this try telling the truth and see where it gets you, probably the nearest A&E department.
Don't say I didn't warn you. Ta Ta.
Today I'd like to talk about language or more specifically sayings, proverbs, Idioms, etc. etc.
You know things like, "He who laughs last laughs longest", eh what? beg pardon, what the f**k is that supposed to mean. How about "If the wind changes you'll stick like that" who the hell came up with that, someone who lived next door to an exploding glue factory?
There's a million of these things out there, where do they come from who makes them up, some are self explanatory but others make you wonder, things like "a chain is only as strong as its weakest link" self explanatory, but "a friend in need is a friend indeed" what's that supposed to mean? personally I prefer the adage a friend in need is a pain in the arse, but hey who am I to criticise.
There are dozens of them for every letter of the alphabet, some are really old like "a pig in a poke" or "letting the cat out of the bag" some are much more recent like "all singing all dancing", we all use them to some extent, some people more than others, myself in particular I use them all the time I'm full of them, (some say I'm just full of shit) yet how often do we think about them, I mean for instance what has "kicked the bucket" got to do with dying, how many dying people do you see going around kicking buckets.
What about "meat and two veg" to describe a blokes wedding tackle, how did that one come about, I mean you can't really describe it as meat can you, a grisly sausage maybe or a turkey neck, and where does the two veg come in? aren't vegetables either crunchy (raw) or soft and tender (cooked), I would have thought testicles would be sort of rubbery at best, and while we're on the subject what of the term wedding tackle, I mean isn't tackle meant to be kept in a box? Oh wait now I get it.
Also staying on the same theme why do we use the term knackers to denote a pair of testicles, is it because if you kick someone in them it knackers them for life, and how about knockers to denote a woman's breasts, I mean you don't see women going around knocking on doors with them do you, they don't knock together when they run, bounce up and down yes so maybe we should call them bouncers.
Of course those last two where slang terms rather than sayings but still the same questions apply, where and from whom did they originate, why did they come into common usage doubtless some smart arse will know, not that it matters some are good, some are crap, some are funny, some are wise and some make no sense at all, different ones come into and go out of fashion at different times and others seem to remain constant.
To finish I'd just like to give you my thoughts on one last one "Honesty is the best policy" whoever coined this phrase was either an idiot or a liar, and boys if you don't believe me or you're wondering why I say that, the next time your wife or girlfriend asks you does my bum look big in this try telling the truth and see where it gets you, probably the nearest A&E department.
Don't say I didn't warn you. Ta Ta.
Thursday 21 September 2017
Luck of the Irish
Greetings once again, and top of the morning to yer, god bless all here.
Now we have the formalities out the way, LUCK! why do some have it and others not, and what is meant by the saying "luck of the Irish", are Irish people particularly lucky, or is it meant to be ironic in that they are particularly unlucky, who knows? who cares? apart from Irish people of course.
But seriously why do some people seem to have all the luck, you know, the ones who if they fell in a cesspit they'd come up smelling of roses, they always pick the winning raffle ticket or scratch card, they get all the best deals, win all the competitions, get off with a caution when they should have been hung drawn and bloody quartered.
Why does everything they do or touch seem to go right, especially when everything I do or touch goes to shit, do these people have a secret of some sort, if so will someone please let me in on it because I could do with a break, hang on let me rephrase that, I could do with a change of luck.
Actually that's not really the case, it's not a change of luck I need, but rather the fact I just need to acquire some, you see I'm not unlucky per se, but on the other hand neither am I lucky, there's just a general lack of the stuff in our household particularly of late, of course there are those out there who don't believe in luck they insist there's no such thing, to them I would say BULLSHIT!
Let me give you an example of why I say that, she who must not be named, my poor long suffering wife (she does have to put up with me after all), does competitions, a lot of competitions, somewhere in the region of 5000/6000 in the last two months alone, and she has a friend who does the same competitions, mostly they are prize draw comps all you have to do is enter your details, no difficult questions to answer, no tie breaking ditties to dream up just pure equal chances, so how come my wife's freind has won four or five times what the wife has won? Is it mind over matter? Is it witchcraft, the friend has admitted she's a dab hand at jinkses, maybe she's good at potions as well, felix-felicis (liquid luck) anyone, (it's a harry potter thing).
Seriously though this isn't a new thing it's been the situation for a number of years now, statistically the wife should have won a lot more than she has, and as for me I can't win a thing, some say you make your own luck, HOW? is there a recipe if so could someone please give it to me, I've become a dab hand in the kitchen recently I could rustle some up for us all.
I don't know maybe it's an Irish thing after all, and as I'm only an eighth Irish that's why I'm short on luck, then again my dad didn't have any Irish in him at all yet he was a right lucky b*****d, why couldn't I have inherited his luck? Ah well Que Sera Sera, like I said before who knows who cares, apart from me.
Till next time stay lucky!
Now we have the formalities out the way, LUCK! why do some have it and others not, and what is meant by the saying "luck of the Irish", are Irish people particularly lucky, or is it meant to be ironic in that they are particularly unlucky, who knows? who cares? apart from Irish people of course.
But seriously why do some people seem to have all the luck, you know, the ones who if they fell in a cesspit they'd come up smelling of roses, they always pick the winning raffle ticket or scratch card, they get all the best deals, win all the competitions, get off with a caution when they should have been hung drawn and bloody quartered.
Why does everything they do or touch seem to go right, especially when everything I do or touch goes to shit, do these people have a secret of some sort, if so will someone please let me in on it because I could do with a break, hang on let me rephrase that, I could do with a change of luck.
Actually that's not really the case, it's not a change of luck I need, but rather the fact I just need to acquire some, you see I'm not unlucky per se, but on the other hand neither am I lucky, there's just a general lack of the stuff in our household particularly of late, of course there are those out there who don't believe in luck they insist there's no such thing, to them I would say BULLSHIT!
Let me give you an example of why I say that, she who must not be named, my poor long suffering wife (she does have to put up with me after all), does competitions, a lot of competitions, somewhere in the region of 5000/6000 in the last two months alone, and she has a friend who does the same competitions, mostly they are prize draw comps all you have to do is enter your details, no difficult questions to answer, no tie breaking ditties to dream up just pure equal chances, so how come my wife's freind has won four or five times what the wife has won? Is it mind over matter? Is it witchcraft, the friend has admitted she's a dab hand at jinkses, maybe she's good at potions as well, felix-felicis (liquid luck) anyone, (it's a harry potter thing).
Seriously though this isn't a new thing it's been the situation for a number of years now, statistically the wife should have won a lot more than she has, and as for me I can't win a thing, some say you make your own luck, HOW? is there a recipe if so could someone please give it to me, I've become a dab hand in the kitchen recently I could rustle some up for us all.
I don't know maybe it's an Irish thing after all, and as I'm only an eighth Irish that's why I'm short on luck, then again my dad didn't have any Irish in him at all yet he was a right lucky b*****d, why couldn't I have inherited his luck? Ah well Que Sera Sera, like I said before who knows who cares, apart from me.
Till next time stay lucky!
Thursday 14 September 2017
The Deadly Seven
Greetings all.
Today I would like to talk about the so called seven deadly sins. You know them I'm sure, but just in case you don't, they are Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, and Pride.
Now what I would like to know is what's so bloody deadly about them, the reason I ask is I need to know if I have anything to worry about, because I am of course guilty of all of them, and no doubt a lot more besides.
To start, one look at my belly tells that I am a bit of a glutton, (for that read fat b*****d). These days I seem to do nothing but eat, maybe it's boredom? and it's only got worse since I packed in smoking.
Then there's greed, (please sir can I have some more). That's me! more money, more motorbikes, more gadgets, more cars, more women, (DON'T LET THE WIFE KNOW), more money, (no that's not a mistake), more more more, you get the picture, always been a greedy sod.
Wrath, I do that more and more these days, I'm always getting angry about something or other, inconsiderate idiotic drivers, stupid politicians, cheeky little bleeders (kids), people that don't pick their dogs shit up, doctors waiting lists (six weeks for an appointment COME ON), the list is endless. Maybe it's an age thing?
Pride, I have to say guilty as charged, every door in the house has been enlarged so I can get my big head through it, my dad used to say only two heads like it Holyhead and Birkenhead, some days my head gets so big I have trouble lifting it off the pillow, then again that could just be the fact that I'm a lazy bugger, which brings us neatly to.
Sloth, now this sin is something I really know about, I mean I'm good with all the others, but this one I excel at my old ma used to say I could sleep on a clothes line, my boss used to say he'd seen more go in an aspirin, not to mention my philosophy has always been why stand when you can sit why sit when you can lay down, and if that isn't enough, many many years ago an acquaintance who though she hardly knew me was astute enough to give me a badge which states and I quote, " a human only has a finite number of heartbeats and I don't propose to waste any of mine running around doing silly exercises" unquote, I have it still, it is close to my heart.
Envy, again this is one I am all to familiar with, but then again I don't think I am alone in this, in fact I would go out on a limb here and say that 90% of the population suffer from this one to some extent or other, but speaking for myself I suffer rather badly from the green eyed monster, as with greed the list is endless, people with new bikes/cars, more money, nicer houses, better jobs, bigger willies, six packs (both bellies and booze), sad to say I envy them all. As for the 10% of the population that don't suffer, all I can say is they're either lying or they are to good to live so they should be shot.
That just leaves my favorite Lust, again guilty as charged, at least since puberty not so much before. I just can't resist looking at a nice pair of wheels, or a nice curvy set of handlebars, not to mention a nicely sculpted tank, yes folks I have to admit I love motorcycles, doesn't matter what configuration they come in be it overweight Americans, universal Japanese, old has beens of British decent, or my particular favorite those oh so lovely Italian redheads, you know the ones moto-guzzi, ducati, morini, and not forgetting the orange lovelies from laverda, yes I love getting a leg over them all. In fact I would have myself a harem if I could afford it, (and the wife would let me). Ah well its nice to dream.
So I guess that's about it, is there any hope for me? or am I doomed? I suppose I shall just have to wait and see, till then however stay young and keep your wheels in motion, I'll be trying to.
Ta. Ta.
Today I would like to talk about the so called seven deadly sins. You know them I'm sure, but just in case you don't, they are Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, and Pride.
Now what I would like to know is what's so bloody deadly about them, the reason I ask is I need to know if I have anything to worry about, because I am of course guilty of all of them, and no doubt a lot more besides.
To start, one look at my belly tells that I am a bit of a glutton, (for that read fat b*****d). These days I seem to do nothing but eat, maybe it's boredom? and it's only got worse since I packed in smoking.
Then there's greed, (please sir can I have some more). That's me! more money, more motorbikes, more gadgets, more cars, more women, (DON'T LET THE WIFE KNOW), more money, (no that's not a mistake), more more more, you get the picture, always been a greedy sod.
Wrath, I do that more and more these days, I'm always getting angry about something or other, inconsiderate idiotic drivers, stupid politicians, cheeky little bleeders (kids), people that don't pick their dogs shit up, doctors waiting lists (six weeks for an appointment COME ON), the list is endless. Maybe it's an age thing?
Pride, I have to say guilty as charged, every door in the house has been enlarged so I can get my big head through it, my dad used to say only two heads like it Holyhead and Birkenhead, some days my head gets so big I have trouble lifting it off the pillow, then again that could just be the fact that I'm a lazy bugger, which brings us neatly to.
Sloth, now this sin is something I really know about, I mean I'm good with all the others, but this one I excel at my old ma used to say I could sleep on a clothes line, my boss used to say he'd seen more go in an aspirin, not to mention my philosophy has always been why stand when you can sit why sit when you can lay down, and if that isn't enough, many many years ago an acquaintance who though she hardly knew me was astute enough to give me a badge which states and I quote, " a human only has a finite number of heartbeats and I don't propose to waste any of mine running around doing silly exercises" unquote, I have it still, it is close to my heart.
Envy, again this is one I am all to familiar with, but then again I don't think I am alone in this, in fact I would go out on a limb here and say that 90% of the population suffer from this one to some extent or other, but speaking for myself I suffer rather badly from the green eyed monster, as with greed the list is endless, people with new bikes/cars, more money, nicer houses, better jobs, bigger willies, six packs (both bellies and booze), sad to say I envy them all. As for the 10% of the population that don't suffer, all I can say is they're either lying or they are to good to live so they should be shot.
That just leaves my favorite Lust, again guilty as charged, at least since puberty not so much before. I just can't resist looking at a nice pair of wheels, or a nice curvy set of handlebars, not to mention a nicely sculpted tank, yes folks I have to admit I love motorcycles, doesn't matter what configuration they come in be it overweight Americans, universal Japanese, old has beens of British decent, or my particular favorite those oh so lovely Italian redheads, you know the ones moto-guzzi, ducati, morini, and not forgetting the orange lovelies from laverda, yes I love getting a leg over them all. In fact I would have myself a harem if I could afford it, (and the wife would let me). Ah well its nice to dream.
So I guess that's about it, is there any hope for me? or am I doomed? I suppose I shall just have to wait and see, till then however stay young and keep your wheels in motion, I'll be trying to.
Ta. Ta.
Friday 8 September 2017
To Hell In a Handbasket
Greetings one and all or maybe just one, and welcome to another rant.
Today I would like to start by posing the question, (as per the title of this post).
IS THE WORLD HEADED TO HELL IN A HAND BASKET ?
Now I'm not talking about nuclear Armageddon here, though with all the rumblings going on between North Korea and the U.S. that could be a distinct possibility, once again all down to governments and politicians, speaking of which what is the world coming to when a country the size of America can only come up with someone like Clinton and Trump as candidates for the presidency.
Lets face it Donald J Trump is to diplomacy what Margaret Thatcher was to unionism, perhaps where diplomacy is concerned the J should be omitted and an F substituted, the F standing of course for f**K-UP, though as a Brit maybe I should keep my gob shut, after all the best we came up with was May and Corbyn.
I must ask again what is the world coming to? When someone like Jeremy Corbyn can become a politician, it appears to me that the man is a total and utter prick. Here's a great idea for politics, lock Trump and Corbyn in a padded cell together and see which of them comes up with a fully functioning brain cell first, the winner gets to be in charge of the other, but whatever happens don't let either of them out, with those two on the loose the results may be disastrous.
But I have digressed somewhat here, my intention in posing the question was not to discus politics and dubious politicians,(that will keep for another day), but rather to discuss society, so the question should I suppose, be. Is Society Going To Hell In a Hand basket ?
The reason I ask this is that people don't seem to have any consideration for anyone but themselves these days, most peoples attitude seems to be "stuff you I'm alright", Common Decency, Politeness, Manners, Respect, all these it seems are more and more becoming a thing of the past. And that's not to mention the amount of crime of all kinds, which seems to be increasing on a daily basis, so much so in fact that I long ago gave up watching the news and reading the papers. Nothing but doom and gloom.
As an example of lack of consideration, just this week alone there have been half a dozen incidences or more, where I have done something for someone, only small things granted, like holding the lift for someone when I visited the hospital, holding open the door to a shop for a young woman with a pram, letting a number of cars out at junctions etc, etc, all these things were unbidden I will admit, but still none the less, common courtesy would dictate some acknowledgement, but did I receive any? sad to say I did not, would it have hurt these people to have raised a hand, to nod or god forbid utter an actual thank you, I don't think so, so why did they not acknowledge? was it laziness, indifference or just plain ignorance, I don't know, but I do know it is all to indicative of the world today.
Take for another example the two women, (I say women because they certainly don't warrant the term ladies) that I was unfortunate enough to meet in the super market the other day, they were stopped in one of the isles having a right old chinwag with each other, no harm in that I hear you say, and I would agree, that is if it weren't for the fact that they were completely blocking the way through with their shopping trolleys, did they move them when they saw me approach? no of course they didn't! and when I said excuse me, after waiting to get past, instead of apologising and moving out of the way as you would expect, they both proceeded to give me a dirty look because I had had the temerity to interrupt their conversation, and only after that did they condone to move their trolleys out of the way, (with very ill grace I may add) and to add insult to injury as I walked away I heard them mutter to each other that some people are so ignorant.
COME ON, talk about incredulity! I was speechless, which I suppose was just as well because to try and correct people like this is a total waste of time, they will never admit that they are in the wrong, it's always the other person who is wrong never them, they are so good and righteous that the sun shines out of their frigging arse, and everyone should be grateful for it, when in actual fact they are totally pig ignorant, were they never taught right from wrong? were they never taught to have any thought for anyone but themselves? Self first, Self last and if there's any over Self again seems to be their mantra, and what's more there's way to many of them, and their numbers it would seem are increasing daily.
This all seems very negative I know, and there are those out there who think I am a very negative person, in short a pessimist, (even my best mate says I am a glass is half empty type) but if I am it's because I've been made that way by people, you can only be let down or shit on so many times before it has a detrimental effect. As for myself I would say I am a realist, and I know there are a lot of good people out there, but it has long been my assertion that the good ones are way outnumbered by the bad these days, or at best by the totally indifferent.
Then again maybe its just me having to high an expectation of people, but I can't help that because I was brought up to have manners and to show consideration to others, and therefore I had hoped that others would show me the same courtesy, my old ma used to say! would you like it done to you? If not, then don't do it to others, treat people the same way you would like to be treated. It's a shame more people don't take that into consideration. I can't help but feel that the world would be a far nicer place if they did.
HERE ENDETH THE LECTURE.
Today I would like to start by posing the question, (as per the title of this post).
IS THE WORLD HEADED TO HELL IN A HAND BASKET ?
Now I'm not talking about nuclear Armageddon here, though with all the rumblings going on between North Korea and the U.S. that could be a distinct possibility, once again all down to governments and politicians, speaking of which what is the world coming to when a country the size of America can only come up with someone like Clinton and Trump as candidates for the presidency.
Lets face it Donald J Trump is to diplomacy what Margaret Thatcher was to unionism, perhaps where diplomacy is concerned the J should be omitted and an F substituted, the F standing of course for f**K-UP, though as a Brit maybe I should keep my gob shut, after all the best we came up with was May and Corbyn.
I must ask again what is the world coming to? When someone like Jeremy Corbyn can become a politician, it appears to me that the man is a total and utter prick. Here's a great idea for politics, lock Trump and Corbyn in a padded cell together and see which of them comes up with a fully functioning brain cell first, the winner gets to be in charge of the other, but whatever happens don't let either of them out, with those two on the loose the results may be disastrous.
But I have digressed somewhat here, my intention in posing the question was not to discus politics and dubious politicians,(that will keep for another day), but rather to discuss society, so the question should I suppose, be. Is Society Going To Hell In a Hand basket ?
The reason I ask this is that people don't seem to have any consideration for anyone but themselves these days, most peoples attitude seems to be "stuff you I'm alright", Common Decency, Politeness, Manners, Respect, all these it seems are more and more becoming a thing of the past. And that's not to mention the amount of crime of all kinds, which seems to be increasing on a daily basis, so much so in fact that I long ago gave up watching the news and reading the papers. Nothing but doom and gloom.
As an example of lack of consideration, just this week alone there have been half a dozen incidences or more, where I have done something for someone, only small things granted, like holding the lift for someone when I visited the hospital, holding open the door to a shop for a young woman with a pram, letting a number of cars out at junctions etc, etc, all these things were unbidden I will admit, but still none the less, common courtesy would dictate some acknowledgement, but did I receive any? sad to say I did not, would it have hurt these people to have raised a hand, to nod or god forbid utter an actual thank you, I don't think so, so why did they not acknowledge? was it laziness, indifference or just plain ignorance, I don't know, but I do know it is all to indicative of the world today.
Take for another example the two women, (I say women because they certainly don't warrant the term ladies) that I was unfortunate enough to meet in the super market the other day, they were stopped in one of the isles having a right old chinwag with each other, no harm in that I hear you say, and I would agree, that is if it weren't for the fact that they were completely blocking the way through with their shopping trolleys, did they move them when they saw me approach? no of course they didn't! and when I said excuse me, after waiting to get past, instead of apologising and moving out of the way as you would expect, they both proceeded to give me a dirty look because I had had the temerity to interrupt their conversation, and only after that did they condone to move their trolleys out of the way, (with very ill grace I may add) and to add insult to injury as I walked away I heard them mutter to each other that some people are so ignorant.
COME ON, talk about incredulity! I was speechless, which I suppose was just as well because to try and correct people like this is a total waste of time, they will never admit that they are in the wrong, it's always the other person who is wrong never them, they are so good and righteous that the sun shines out of their frigging arse, and everyone should be grateful for it, when in actual fact they are totally pig ignorant, were they never taught right from wrong? were they never taught to have any thought for anyone but themselves? Self first, Self last and if there's any over Self again seems to be their mantra, and what's more there's way to many of them, and their numbers it would seem are increasing daily.
This all seems very negative I know, and there are those out there who think I am a very negative person, in short a pessimist, (even my best mate says I am a glass is half empty type) but if I am it's because I've been made that way by people, you can only be let down or shit on so many times before it has a detrimental effect. As for myself I would say I am a realist, and I know there are a lot of good people out there, but it has long been my assertion that the good ones are way outnumbered by the bad these days, or at best by the totally indifferent.
Then again maybe its just me having to high an expectation of people, but I can't help that because I was brought up to have manners and to show consideration to others, and therefore I had hoped that others would show me the same courtesy, my old ma used to say! would you like it done to you? If not, then don't do it to others, treat people the same way you would like to be treated. It's a shame more people don't take that into consideration. I can't help but feel that the world would be a far nicer place if they did.
HERE ENDETH THE LECTURE.
Saturday 2 September 2017
Mumbleese
Greetings one and all.
Today's rant is on a somewhat lighter note than some of my previous missives, to day I wish to talk about what I like to call mumbleese, yes you read it correctly mumble-ese! No such word I here you say! well no there isn't, at least not at the moment, but I am hoping to have it added to the oxford English dictionary soon.
The entry would read thus:- MUMBLESE a form of communication sometimes used by the youth of today, who for one reason or another cannot enunciate properly, or who find it impossible to talk (for reasons unbeknown) in more than a whisper, also applies to those youth who talk in riddles and or text speak. May also apply to those of any age who speak to quickly or in strange dialects.
Until quite recently I thought this was an invention of my granddaughters, whom I have to say I quite often have difficulty understanding, many's the time I have had to ask my wife to translate, however as she seems to have little difficulty understanding what is being said, I was forced to the conclusion that my hearing is going and while this may be the case, it is definitely not the problem.
Why do I say this? because dear friends after talking about this problem with other parents/grandparents it would appear I am not the only sufferer, no apparently the problem is rife and it affects a large proportion of the youth of today.
Did our children plan this? Is it a definite ploy of theirs to exclude us? What are they planning? Think of it a whole new language of their own, "the ramifications" (look it up, I had to, and I still don't know what it means). But wait I'm babbling you see what this has done to me already, you must understand what this may lead to, what may happen, there's already a distinct lack of communication between us, if men and women are from different planets, (men from mars-women from venus) then adults and kids are from different universes, this may lead to a complete breakdown in understanding, it could lead to interstellar war.
So in order to alleviate the problem, I wish to appeal to all the youngsters out there.
COME ON KIDS GIVE US OLDIES A BREAK TALK SLOWLY AND CLEARLY PLEASE.
Even if only to humour us and make us feel included.
Today's rant is on a somewhat lighter note than some of my previous missives, to day I wish to talk about what I like to call mumbleese, yes you read it correctly mumble-ese! No such word I here you say! well no there isn't, at least not at the moment, but I am hoping to have it added to the oxford English dictionary soon.
The entry would read thus:- MUMBLESE a form of communication sometimes used by the youth of today, who for one reason or another cannot enunciate properly, or who find it impossible to talk (for reasons unbeknown) in more than a whisper, also applies to those youth who talk in riddles and or text speak. May also apply to those of any age who speak to quickly or in strange dialects.
Until quite recently I thought this was an invention of my granddaughters, whom I have to say I quite often have difficulty understanding, many's the time I have had to ask my wife to translate, however as she seems to have little difficulty understanding what is being said, I was forced to the conclusion that my hearing is going and while this may be the case, it is definitely not the problem.
Why do I say this? because dear friends after talking about this problem with other parents/grandparents it would appear I am not the only sufferer, no apparently the problem is rife and it affects a large proportion of the youth of today.
Did our children plan this? Is it a definite ploy of theirs to exclude us? What are they planning? Think of it a whole new language of their own, "the ramifications" (look it up, I had to, and I still don't know what it means). But wait I'm babbling you see what this has done to me already, you must understand what this may lead to, what may happen, there's already a distinct lack of communication between us, if men and women are from different planets, (men from mars-women from venus) then adults and kids are from different universes, this may lead to a complete breakdown in understanding, it could lead to interstellar war.
So in order to alleviate the problem, I wish to appeal to all the youngsters out there.
COME ON KIDS GIVE US OLDIES A BREAK TALK SLOWLY AND CLEARLY PLEASE.
Even if only to humour us and make us feel included.
Friday 25 August 2017
Intelligence and the price of fish
Is it just me or are people getting thicker? And no I am not asking are they putting on weight, I'm asking are they becoming more and more stupid, by the day it would sometimes seem.
The reason I ask is that I have never classed myself as being particularly intelligent, I'd have said I was average at best in the brain department, but some of the people I've met of late, the younger ones in particular, make me look like bloody Einstein, so much so in fact I'm anticipating the arrival of a Nobel prize nomination any day now.
I mean when the powers that be have to put notices on cartons of eggs warning that the contents may contain egg, you do start to wonder! Are people really so stupid they can't work that out for themselves. It would seem so.
Then there's the peanut packet that states ingredients 100% peanuts and underneath that, allergy advice may contain peanuts, I mean come on! surely things like that shouldn't need stating.
Then there are the youngsters who can't do simple maths without the aid of calculators, we're not talking long division or algebra here, we're talking simple adding and subtracting.
All I can say is it's a good job we switched to metric back in 71, (you know multiples of ten). At least with that, if they find themselves in dire need they can always use their fingers and toes, assuming of course they haven't lost any in accidents.
I can see it now, young Jimmy and his best mate Steve with their first prospective employer Mr Jones. I think we'll start you off in accounts boys how is your maths? Well I can only do multiples of nine says Jimmy on account of I lost a finger when I got it stuck up my nose while I was daydreaming in class, yea says Steve, that goes for me to, only I can only do multiples of eight cause I lost a thumb as well while I was sitting there with it stuck up my arse and my brain in neutral.
What is causing such a reduction in intellect? Is it some thing in the water, is it all the micro waves flying round, if that's the case shouldn't the government be doing something to remedy the situation? Protective head gear maybe, come to think of it that's not a bad idea.
Now where's that bit of lead left over from when we had the roof done, I must make myself a hat, you know just in case.
Oh and for those who are wondering where the price of fish in the title comes in, well for those who don't know fish used to be considered brain food, may be it still is I don't know but in my case it would explain a lot, because I was never a fish lover.
The reason I ask is that I have never classed myself as being particularly intelligent, I'd have said I was average at best in the brain department, but some of the people I've met of late, the younger ones in particular, make me look like bloody Einstein, so much so in fact I'm anticipating the arrival of a Nobel prize nomination any day now.
I mean when the powers that be have to put notices on cartons of eggs warning that the contents may contain egg, you do start to wonder! Are people really so stupid they can't work that out for themselves. It would seem so.
Then there's the peanut packet that states ingredients 100% peanuts and underneath that, allergy advice may contain peanuts, I mean come on! surely things like that shouldn't need stating.
Then there are the youngsters who can't do simple maths without the aid of calculators, we're not talking long division or algebra here, we're talking simple adding and subtracting.
All I can say is it's a good job we switched to metric back in 71, (you know multiples of ten). At least with that, if they find themselves in dire need they can always use their fingers and toes, assuming of course they haven't lost any in accidents.
I can see it now, young Jimmy and his best mate Steve with their first prospective employer Mr Jones. I think we'll start you off in accounts boys how is your maths? Well I can only do multiples of nine says Jimmy on account of I lost a finger when I got it stuck up my nose while I was daydreaming in class, yea says Steve, that goes for me to, only I can only do multiples of eight cause I lost a thumb as well while I was sitting there with it stuck up my arse and my brain in neutral.
What is causing such a reduction in intellect? Is it some thing in the water, is it all the micro waves flying round, if that's the case shouldn't the government be doing something to remedy the situation? Protective head gear maybe, come to think of it that's not a bad idea.
Now where's that bit of lead left over from when we had the roof done, I must make myself a hat, you know just in case.
Oh and for those who are wondering where the price of fish in the title comes in, well for those who don't know fish used to be considered brain food, may be it still is I don't know but in my case it would explain a lot, because I was never a fish lover.
Thursday 24 August 2017
Over There
Greetings to everyone in blog land and especially to those of you deigning to read my drivel, I must start this post with an explanation of the title which probably wont mean anything to anyone under the age of 80/90 years.
The title refers to a song written in 1917 by a talented chap called George M Cohan an american as it happens, and it is about the Americans I wish to speak, or rather the Americanisms that seem to be creeping more and more into our language.
Now before we go any further let me state categorically that I have nothing against the Americans, on the contrary I love a lot of the films they make, not to mention quite a few of their tv series as well, I also quite like Harley Davidson motorcycles, so much so in fact that the only motorcycle I have ever bought brand new was an 883 sportster, incidentally it was the bike I was riding when I met my wife, it was also the bike I put the most miles on 18000 in 16 months, happy memories, no I have nothing against the yanks.
That said however I don't want them taking over our country's language and traditions which they seem to be doing more and more, I'm talking about expressions like you guys, buddy, my bad, dude, whats wrong with you chaps, pal, my mistake, mate, the expression you want some candy? Candy,Candy they're sweets for crying out loud, diapers, that's a load of crap they're called nappies.
The list is endless! you wanna catch a movie? No I want to see a film. You do the math! wheres the bloody S gone? the word's maths, its downright insidious the song said the yanks are coming, no they're not, they're already here, they're taking over, we need to do something now before its to late, I don't want a base ball cap to wear and base ball to watch, I want my old flat cap and raincoat and good old fashioned football on a Sunday afternoon.
Actually I don't want either of those things, I much prefer sky-diving and motorcycle racing, but you get the point.
Lets leave American to the Americans after all they have the accent for it, me I'd much rather have plain Olde English especially when its cider rather than apple jack.
The title refers to a song written in 1917 by a talented chap called George M Cohan an american as it happens, and it is about the Americans I wish to speak, or rather the Americanisms that seem to be creeping more and more into our language.
Now before we go any further let me state categorically that I have nothing against the Americans, on the contrary I love a lot of the films they make, not to mention quite a few of their tv series as well, I also quite like Harley Davidson motorcycles, so much so in fact that the only motorcycle I have ever bought brand new was an 883 sportster, incidentally it was the bike I was riding when I met my wife, it was also the bike I put the most miles on 18000 in 16 months, happy memories, no I have nothing against the yanks.
That said however I don't want them taking over our country's language and traditions which they seem to be doing more and more, I'm talking about expressions like you guys, buddy, my bad, dude, whats wrong with you chaps, pal, my mistake, mate, the expression you want some candy? Candy,Candy they're sweets for crying out loud, diapers, that's a load of crap they're called nappies.
The list is endless! you wanna catch a movie? No I want to see a film. You do the math! wheres the bloody S gone? the word's maths, its downright insidious the song said the yanks are coming, no they're not, they're already here, they're taking over, we need to do something now before its to late, I don't want a base ball cap to wear and base ball to watch, I want my old flat cap and raincoat and good old fashioned football on a Sunday afternoon.
Actually I don't want either of those things, I much prefer sky-diving and motorcycle racing, but you get the point.
Lets leave American to the Americans after all they have the accent for it, me I'd much rather have plain Olde English especially when its cider rather than apple jack.
Shining a light on road safety
Now like most people I'm all for being safe on the roads, after-all I do have family whom I worry about, not to mention myself, I happen to be very important to me, even if to no one else.
I'm all for things like seat belts, air bags and crumple zones in cars, especially in view of the amount of idiots that seem to inhabit our highways and byways these days.
Though I must be honest I don't like being forced to wear a seat belt by law, (I'm not a complete moron though I will concede there are a lot of them out there.) and I think as adults we should be allowed to decide for ourselves when and if we need to buckle up.
The same goes for helmets on motorcycles I have always worn a helmet and always will its stupid not to if riding any distance, but I would still like to be allowed the freedom of choice, we're talking civil liberties here! in my opinion, and thankfully I'm still entitled to that, we are far to over-governed and controlled, but that is beside the point as regards this post.
Back to the issue at hand and the point I want to raise is super-bright headlights, is it just me? or do other people think like myself, that far from being an aid to road safety these super-brights are a positive bloody menace, I can't believe that I'm the only person on the road to have been dazzled by oncoming traffic fitted with these damn things, (surely other people must have suffered from them as well?) the amount of times I have been near blinded by them is unreal, and that's just when they're dipped, if the car coming towards you, happens to have mal-adjusted headlights or god forbid is using main beam you've got no bloody chance they'll melt your bloody eye balls. And it's just as bad being hit with them from behind through your mirrors the same results apply.
Plus I firmly believe they encourage the idiots out there among us to drive faster because they can see farther ahead.
I think there's a lot of truth in risk compensation theory, you know the safer someone feels the more they throw caution to the wind, (for that read the more idiotic they behave). I'm pretty sure if every vehicle produced was fitted with a 12inch spike set to shoot up through the seat in the event of an accident people would drive a lot slower and with a lot more care, a ridiculous notion I know but a pretty safe analogy non the less, though there's probably some out there that would enjoy the idea of a 12inch spike being shot up their arse, some people after all can be very strange.
I'm all for things like seat belts, air bags and crumple zones in cars, especially in view of the amount of idiots that seem to inhabit our highways and byways these days.
Though I must be honest I don't like being forced to wear a seat belt by law, (I'm not a complete moron though I will concede there are a lot of them out there.) and I think as adults we should be allowed to decide for ourselves when and if we need to buckle up.
The same goes for helmets on motorcycles I have always worn a helmet and always will its stupid not to if riding any distance, but I would still like to be allowed the freedom of choice, we're talking civil liberties here! in my opinion, and thankfully I'm still entitled to that, we are far to over-governed and controlled, but that is beside the point as regards this post.
Back to the issue at hand and the point I want to raise is super-bright headlights, is it just me? or do other people think like myself, that far from being an aid to road safety these super-brights are a positive bloody menace, I can't believe that I'm the only person on the road to have been dazzled by oncoming traffic fitted with these damn things, (surely other people must have suffered from them as well?) the amount of times I have been near blinded by them is unreal, and that's just when they're dipped, if the car coming towards you, happens to have mal-adjusted headlights or god forbid is using main beam you've got no bloody chance they'll melt your bloody eye balls. And it's just as bad being hit with them from behind through your mirrors the same results apply.
Plus I firmly believe they encourage the idiots out there among us to drive faster because they can see farther ahead.
I think there's a lot of truth in risk compensation theory, you know the safer someone feels the more they throw caution to the wind, (for that read the more idiotic they behave). I'm pretty sure if every vehicle produced was fitted with a 12inch spike set to shoot up through the seat in the event of an accident people would drive a lot slower and with a lot more care, a ridiculous notion I know but a pretty safe analogy non the less, though there's probably some out there that would enjoy the idea of a 12inch spike being shot up their arse, some people after all can be very strange.
Wednesday 23 August 2017
Crap Service and Outright Lies
Greetings and welcome to my first rant.
Is it just my imagination, ( which I will admit can sometimes run away with me. ) or has customer service and satisfaction become a thing of the past for a lot of companies?
The reason I am posing this question is I recently ordered some spares for my bike from the nice people at Wemoto, the problem is not with them I hasten to add, they have been fine and very helpful.
No the problem lies with the courier service they chose to deliver the package, a very large and well known company as it happens, who operate world wide and who you would think operated a decent service, not so. Let me explain.
I placed my order late on the 11th, when having got to the 21st it had not arrived I was a little miffed to say the least, (actually I was effing livid). So I checked the e-mail from Wemoto which gave me tracking information.
I was directed to the courier services web site where after inputting the tracking number it said that they had received the package on the 14th fair enough, then it said that it was out for delivery and delivery had been attempted and a card left on the 15th.
This was and is an outright lie! There was no delivery and no card on this day or any other, and I know this because there was someone in all day on the 15th, and virtually everyday since and for eleven weeks previously on account of our new puppy who is an absolute pain and has to be supervised constantly in case the larger two dogs eat him.
It says a lot that I could not find a contact number anywhere obvious on their web site with which I could ring to complain, I can only assume there was a number on the card I never received, which now I think of it is really convenient for them not so much for everyone else.
To my mind this is a totally wrong state of affairs, this huge company is not only short changing me it is short changing a lot of smaller companies who are relying on them to deliver their goods, had I not bothered to check I might well have laid the blame for the poor service I have received at Wemoto's door which would have been an injustice, especially as it was to them I had to turn in order to sort out re-delivery.
Incidentally, when I rang wemoto to sort it out I was informed that mine was not the first query/complaint that they have received about this courier service, and undoubtedly it wont be the last, until that is they take their custom elsewhere? or their present provider pull their finger out.
I wouldn't hold my breath for the latter of those two options however, because it seems to me the bigger a company gets the more they forget the old adage the customer is always right.
What is the name of the huge courier service that sparked this missive I hear you ask, none other than FedEx consider yourselves named and shamed, though I doubt it will bother you.
ADDENDUM
After I had contacted wemoto to sort things out my wife finally found a contact number for FedEx on their website but she had to go through a few pages to find it and she is a lot better with computers than I am.
Is it just my imagination, ( which I will admit can sometimes run away with me. ) or has customer service and satisfaction become a thing of the past for a lot of companies?
The reason I am posing this question is I recently ordered some spares for my bike from the nice people at Wemoto, the problem is not with them I hasten to add, they have been fine and very helpful.
No the problem lies with the courier service they chose to deliver the package, a very large and well known company as it happens, who operate world wide and who you would think operated a decent service, not so. Let me explain.
I placed my order late on the 11th, when having got to the 21st it had not arrived I was a little miffed to say the least, (actually I was effing livid). So I checked the e-mail from Wemoto which gave me tracking information.
I was directed to the courier services web site where after inputting the tracking number it said that they had received the package on the 14th fair enough, then it said that it was out for delivery and delivery had been attempted and a card left on the 15th.
This was and is an outright lie! There was no delivery and no card on this day or any other, and I know this because there was someone in all day on the 15th, and virtually everyday since and for eleven weeks previously on account of our new puppy who is an absolute pain and has to be supervised constantly in case the larger two dogs eat him.
It says a lot that I could not find a contact number anywhere obvious on their web site with which I could ring to complain, I can only assume there was a number on the card I never received, which now I think of it is really convenient for them not so much for everyone else.
To my mind this is a totally wrong state of affairs, this huge company is not only short changing me it is short changing a lot of smaller companies who are relying on them to deliver their goods, had I not bothered to check I might well have laid the blame for the poor service I have received at Wemoto's door which would have been an injustice, especially as it was to them I had to turn in order to sort out re-delivery.
Incidentally, when I rang wemoto to sort it out I was informed that mine was not the first query/complaint that they have received about this courier service, and undoubtedly it wont be the last, until that is they take their custom elsewhere? or their present provider pull their finger out.
I wouldn't hold my breath for the latter of those two options however, because it seems to me the bigger a company gets the more they forget the old adage the customer is always right.
What is the name of the huge courier service that sparked this missive I hear you ask, none other than FedEx consider yourselves named and shamed, though I doubt it will bother you.
ADDENDUM
After I had contacted wemoto to sort things out my wife finally found a contact number for FedEx on their website but she had to go through a few pages to find it and she is a lot better with computers than I am.
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