The Deadly Seven

Greetings all.

Today I would like to talk about the so called seven deadly sins. You know them I'm sure, but just in case you don't, they are Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, and Pride.

Now what I would like to know is what's so bloody deadly about them, the reason I ask is I need to know if I have anything to worry about, because I am of course guilty of all of them, and no doubt a lot more besides.

To start, one look at my belly tells that I am a bit of a glutton, (for that read fat b*****d). These days I seem to do nothing but eat, maybe it's boredom? and it's only got worse since I packed in smoking.

Then there's greed, (please sir can I have some more). That's me! more money, more motorbikes, more gadgets, more cars, more women, (DON'T LET THE WIFE KNOW), more money, (no that's not a mistake), more more more, you get the picture, always been a greedy sod.

Wrath, I do that more and more these days, I'm always getting angry about something or other, inconsiderate idiotic drivers, stupid politicians, cheeky little bleeders (kids), people that don't pick their dogs shit up, doctors waiting lists (six weeks for an appointment COME ON), the list is endless. Maybe it's an age thing?

Pride, I have to say guilty as charged, every door in the house has been enlarged so I can get my big head through it, my dad used to say only two heads like it Holyhead and Birkenhead, some days my head gets so big I have trouble lifting it off the pillow, then again that could just be the fact that I'm a lazy bugger, which brings us neatly to.

Sloth, now this sin is something I really know about, I mean I'm good with all the others, but this one I excel at my old ma used to say I could sleep on a clothes line, my boss used to say he'd seen more go in an aspirin, not to mention my philosophy has always been why stand when you can sit why sit when you can lay down, and if that isn't enough, many many years ago an acquaintance who though she hardly knew me was astute enough to give me a badge which states and I quote, " a human only has a finite number of heartbeats and I don't propose to waste any of mine running around doing silly exercises" unquote, I have it still, it is close to my heart.

Envy, again this is one I am all to familiar with, but then again I don't think I am alone in this, in fact I would go out on a limb here and say that 90% of the population suffer from this one to some extent or other, but speaking for myself I suffer rather badly from the green eyed monster, as with greed the list is endless, people with new bikes/cars, more money, nicer houses, better jobs, bigger willies, six packs (both bellies and booze), sad to say I envy them all. As for the 10% of the population that don't suffer, all I can say is they're either lying or they are to good to live so they should be shot.

That just leaves my favorite Lust, again guilty as charged, at least since puberty not so much before. I just can't resist looking at a nice pair of wheels, or a nice curvy set of handlebars, not to mention a nicely sculpted tank, yes folks I have to admit I love motorcycles, doesn't matter what configuration they come in be it overweight Americans, universal Japanese, old has beens of British decent, or my particular favorite those oh so lovely Italian redheads, you know the ones moto-guzzi, ducati, morini, and not forgetting the orange lovelies from laverda, yes I love getting a leg over them all. In fact I would have myself a harem if I could afford it, (and the wife would let me). Ah well its nice to dream.

So I guess that's about it, is there any hope for me? or am I doomed? I suppose I shall just have to wait and see, till then however stay young and keep your wheels in motion, I'll be trying to.

Ta. Ta.